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A case study: Hypnotherapy for Trigeminal neuralgia pain reduction

#hypnotherapy #trigeminalneuralgia #releasepain #paincontrol #realcase

Trigeminal neuralgia is a type of chronic pain that affects the face. It causes pain, sudden burning, or a feeling of extreme shock.

It is considered the most painful affliction known to medical practice. Frequently, pharmacological treatment is not effective and requires surgical treatment.

I would like to encourage people who have found themselves in as difficult a situation as my client.

I am not saying that hypnotherapy is a panacea. I do support the patient to cooperate with his doctor. And it's important to say that I don't try to stop every pain. Because pain is an important indicator that something is happening in our body. And we don’t want this important messenger to be prematurely silenced.

On the other hand, sometimes pain no longer provides us with any added value and we need to get rid of it or stop perceiving it. As was the case with this client.

This interview took place after only 2 hypnotherapy sessions. The client describes her experiences as well as the course of therapeutic cooperation.

The first therapy session took place on 28/11/2022 and the second session took place on 9/12/2022.

The collaboration took place in English, since the client is English.

Why did you choose my services? What were your expectations?

I have been suffering from Trigeminal Neuralgia for almost 2 years. During that time I have been seeing a neurologist who has prescribed medication usually used for epilepsy which controls the painful spasms. Unfortunately, the medication needs to be increased and changed regularly in order to continue it´s effectiveness for this condition.

The medication also has some dramatic side effects: memory problems being the most distressing for me. The side effects became unbearable when I realised that I just couldn’t think properly, my short-term memory was almost completely gone and I was really unsafe to be driving.

I decided to take the opportunity to try a session of hypnotherapy to control, and/or better cope with the pain in order to reduce the prescribed medication.

Have your expectations been met?

Having now had 2 hypnotherapy treatments with you and am following up with the self-hypnosis app that you recommended, I can happily say that I have reduced my prescribed medication by half and am working on reducing it further.

How do you evaluate my services? What did our cooperation give you?

Never having experienced hypnosis before I must say that I was very skeptical about it, firstly whether I would be hypnotizable, and whether it would be effective against this very painful condition.

I’m very happy to say that it has made a huge difference to my ability to cope with the pain and on very much reduced medication. I believe that your experience in psychotherapy has also helped in the results I’m experiencing.

What would you like to highlight?

I’m delighted with the results of the time you spent with me, helping with the pain and my depressed state due to the side effects of the prescription medication. I remember saying to you that I wanted to feel ‘normal’ again and ‘more my usual, confident self’. I’m very happy to say that I feel very much on my way to achieving that desired result.

If could be even more useful to you, if so, how? (what other topic would be of interest to you)

I would be interested in having more hypnotherapy if it could help me in my diet (to lose some weight) and my ability to learn a new language – Spanish in particular.

Would you recommend my services to others - if so, why? If not, then why?

I am very happy to recommend your services to my friends and family and anyone that I feel may benefit from your expertise. I firmly believe that you are able to help people with pain control, wellbeing, stress, depression and also other conditions or habits that may require some assistance to change.

A case study: Psychotherapy to manage anger and negative thoughts

#psychotherapy #hypnotherapy #anger #negativethoughts #relationships #onlinetherapy

Sometimes in psychotherapy, we need to help the client with several issues (problems) at the same time.

This was also the case for this client, where we did "up to" 5 consultations together (usually my therapies are shorter :-)).

In this case, we implemented a mixed form: a combination of psychotherapy and hypnotherapy. Some meetings were online and some were in person.

Why have you chosen my services? What did you expect from them?

I was at a point in my life when my negative thoughts were destroying me and my relationships with my family and friends. I decided it was time to seek help. I searched on the web; at the same time, I was looking for the option of being able to do online therapy. At this moment I don't remember well what the web page looked like, but I remember that I found interesting a section where it was written: Brief therapy focused or based on solutions, this was what I valued the most to hire your services.

Have your expectations been met?

Yes, I would like to add that I am infinitely grateful.

What do you think is the added value of cooperation? What did the cooperation give you?

The cooperation or therapy has helped me understand the reasons why I was having negative and destructive thoughts. I was not always motivated to do or to work with the proposals received, but try to improve and do it, this helped me to express my feelings and find another approach. Something that also helped me a lot was that you always asked me questions that really made me think and consider the situation.

What would you like to highlight?

I am a person who finds it very difficult to talk about any aspect of myself, whether it is positive or not, and expressing my worst feelings to someone is not easy, especially not to someone I did not know, but in the therapies I was gaining confidence, besides I had the feeling that you were really interested in helping me.

I was also very surprised by the hypnosis therapy, right after I didn't notice anything different, but as the days went by I was progressively more positive and I no longer felt anger, at least not in the same way. It's hard to explain... I still have difficult situations, but now I can feel the anger with much more distance.

If could be even more useful to you, and if so, how? (what other topic would be of interest to you)

I really can't think of anything... Sorry...

Would you recommend my services to others - if so, why? If not, why not?

If it's hard for me to talk... it's harder for me to write!!;) Thanks, Braño!!!

An effective combination of psychotherapy and hypnotherapy can help even in the first session with deep and lasting family traumas.

Today, I want to inspire you with a real case in which we achieved significant improvement together with the client.

The Client's Painful Situation

We often carry various psychological wounds from childhood. My client, a 58-year-old woman, contacted me due to a situation that had been bothering her for several years. For a long time, she felt that her mother favored her brother. Her mother always paid more attention and support to him (both emotionally and materially), tolerated his mistakes more, and even preferred her brother's children over her own.

After her brother and father's death, the client had to take care of her mother, who was left alone. According to the client's description, visits to her mother were unbearable. Her mother would either criticize her or ignore her. The client felt anger, frustration, and sadness about the past and the present. She wanted to improve her relationship with her mother, at least in her later years, but the relationship wasn't getting better; it was worsening.

On days when she had to visit her mother, the client experienced anxiety and frustration. She eventually decided to seek my help and ask for assistance. She suggested that she was willing to try hypnosis.

Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy Session

In reality, we had only one session. In the first part of the meeting, we talked to understand what we should focus on during hypnosis. Even in this stage, the client mentioned that she had gained inspiration and a completely different perspective on how she perceived the situation she was in. Through questions, she began to see new aspects of the relationship and understand her mother's perspective. The client started interpreting her mother's behavior: parents care more about children who need it and less about those who are strong and can handle themselves. Finally, the client confirmed this perspective with her mother, who supported her.

In the second part of the session, we delved into hypnosis, which lasted about 20 minutes. We focused on developing the ability to "not be affected by the outside world" and maintaining mental distance and peace. After hypnosis, the client felt very good, to the point where she knew that another meeting wouldn't be necessary.


I met with the client after 2 months. She thanked me for the help. According to her, since our meeting, she enjoys visits to her mother, to the point where she looks forward to seeing her again. According to her words, her mother also enjoys her presence. Their relationship has reached its highest level so far.

Client Evaluation

Below, you can read her responses to my feedback questionnaire.

Have your expectations been met?

Yes, absolutely. The therapy was like the last piece of the mosaic I was missing to complete.

What do you believe is the added value of the cooperation? What did the cooperation provide you?

I have completely calmed down, stopped worrying about the irreparable, and feel greater overall harmony in my life.

What would you like to highlight?

A high level of understanding, providing me with a new perspective on the "problem" that I didn't see. Wonderful calming voice, very good at putting you in deep relaxation. Complete satisfaction.

Would you recommend my services to others - if so, why? If not, why not?

Of course, yes. An excellent therapist with a deep empathetic insight.

This case illustrates the powerful combination of psychotherapy and hypnotherapy that helps activate human potential to overcome challenges. It is not always achieved in the first session, but with my solution-focused approach, my goal is for every session to be the last.

Be the leader you wish you‘d had

Take a step!

The future is placing ever more demanding challenges on us. In a managerial position, it is no longer enough to ‘only' be an expert. Computers will do more and more expert work for us. But what computers will not do, is this “people management” work. I think that only human beings can do leadership.

Since we work with people at work and our clients are people, it is very important to understand people and to like them.

Being a leader is a really challenging issue with many pitfalls. Not only do you have to manage your EGO and your emotions, you also have to handle the challenges of your team. Here are only some of them:

  • Inconspicuous toxic people: spoilers of cooperation, morality, and relations. How to identify them? How to work with them?
  • Big EGOs in the team. What to do with them?
  • How to motivate colleagues if career growth is not possible? Are your colleagues also blackmailing you through salary increases?
  • Transition from co-worker to manager.
  • Inherited workers with poor performance or bad habits.
  • Being understaffed.
  • How to increase loyalty? When fluctuation is an issue.
  • How to overcome resistance to change?
  • Too many issues and priorities (Firefighter effect): Are you also busy extinguishing problems instead of preventing them?
  • How to adapt communication styles to different kinds of people?
  • How to increase team performance while maintaining healthy relationships?

Having technically mastered processes as a manager is not always enough to solve these kinds of challenges.

Managers are working with the heads and hands of people, leaders find the way to the hearts of colleagues.

As I wrote, the first step to be a Leader is to understand people. To know what motivates them, what demotivates them, under what conditions they like to cooperate, what are their strengths, and what they like to do… However, a leader has to know himself even better than he knows his team members.

  • Why do I want to be a leader? What drives me?
  • What are my strengths? And where do I need to improve?
  • Do I want to commit myself to help the others?
  • Am I ready to take responsibility for others as well?
  • Am I prepared for this journey?

The Ancient Greek aphorism “know thyself” has enormous value in today's leadership as well. Because you can't lead anyone else unless you know how to lead yourself.

Being a leader is not a position, it is a lifestyle for the rest of your life.

After years of my own leadership experience, I have the pleasure to be the guide on the journey of becoming a leader. I feel blessed to transmit an idea, that Leadership can be a less stressful and more fulfilling mission.

I truly believe that they are certain patterns that lead to the prosperity of your business. And that we can learn these patterns. Everyone can improve with the appropriate approach. My clients are choosing my services because of achieving real results. In the programs, we combine various techniques (coaching, mentoring, training, and consulting) according to the industry, the urgency of the problems, and the goals chosen.

Have you already completed development programs that were interesting and engaging, but did not bring you and your company tangible results?

What will you surely improve? The academy is set up in such a way that you will improve in all the key areas in which you are sure to find yourself as a leader:

Building your team – Create a highly successful team

Leadership communication– Master the most important tool

The Art of motivation – Use psychology that works

Management styles- Use appropriate approaches to achieve results

Managerial Coaching – Turn the potential of your people into reality

Being a leader not “just” a manager– Win the hearts of colleagues

For more info click here:

My goal is simple: To help you to be the leader you wish you’d had. And thanks to this, take your business to the next level.

Why is Solution Focused attitude so popular and requested in business as well as in a private environment?

I stand on two legs in my private life and in my professional life. I have clients from two basic areas. As a coach and trainer, I work with companies. With managers mostly (from middle management to directors or presidents) or sales persons. And as a therapist and coach I help individuals in their private areas.

And what is interesting, is seeing the same thing happen in both areas:

A big surprise and at the same time a relief, when we do not talk about their problems, but we devote all our energy to talk about solutions.

The client (and it doesn't matter if they are the president of the company, a self-employed person, or the mother on maternity leave) before they meet me, they are usually quite bothered by the analysis of the problem.

A thorough analysis of the problem usually makes the client an expert on the "problem", but not an expert on solving it.

You become such a "problem expert" when you can answer these kinds of questions: What exactly is the problem? When did it happen? What's the worst thing about it (or even worse - about ‘her’ or ‘him’)? Who is to blame? Why can't it be solved? What is stopping me from solving it? ...

Regardless of whether clients engage in such analyses or not, it turns out that it is much more useful to pay attention in solutions. These solutions may not be hidden in the analysis of the problem at all.

Imagine a person whose goal is to be able to give presentation to a group of colleagues, but they are prevented from doing so by feeling jittery or fear. This person comes to me and "logically" wants to talk and analyse jitters and fear. They want to get rid of them, they want to talk in front of the audience and they think that the way to do that is to pay attention to the jitters and fear.

But we know: What we pay attention to, is what grows. So, if we are going to pay attention to problems – what will grow? Problems.

Same as, when you are hungry and you are thinking about how hungry you are… in 10 minutes you will be even more hungry. You might be familiar with experiencing your brain being full of problems because you are trying to solve them… you are worried. Sometimes we even feel that “everything is a problem” or “my life is full of problems”. But to focus on the removal of an obstacle, it´s not a well-defined goal. Therefore, we need to pay attention and develop something else.

One of the possibilities is to focus on “What do we want to have instead of this problem?”

In this case: “What does the client want to have instead of jitters and fear?”. And the client can probably tell us “I want to be brave” or “I want to feel good while talking in front of an audience”. Well it is a better-defined goal. We can develop this or if you wish, we can analyse it: “When were you brave for the last time?” “How will you notice that you are brave?” “What helped you to be brave?” …and many more questions.

What I do notice almost every time is that clients feel already better when they think about these answers. Suddenly they are focused on solutions, on possibilities and on already achieved progress. Their mood, as well as their self-confidence is increasing. They potentiate their imagination towards building solutions, towards their desired future. Therefore, it is intelligible that in this kind of atmosphere people are more likely to find solutions. Those benefits can be accomplished with the support of a solution focused consultant already in first session. Sometimes within the first minutes😊 It works for complex organizational issues as well as for private topics.

Finding solutions, quick and painlessly.

Not only my experience proved that, despite the brevity, clients can create sustainable solutions. Who wouldn´t love this approach? 😊 Although it might seem strange, I have to say that this approach is not for everyone. For example, it is not working for people, who like to cultivate their problem, or they prefer to keep it (some are in love with their problem).

I don’t want to make the impression that as a client, you don’t need to work nor think and everything comes your way without any effort. Nothing is further from the truth. But it won´t be so hard and so annoying like thinking about problems.

Solution focused approach is only one of hundreds of techniques, not the best one, not for everyone. I personally fell in love with this approach from my first experience. And I understand why others find it very useful and catchy😊.

When would you like to experience it?

Is hypnotherapy for me?

Important questions – answers you want to know before experience hypnotherapy.

Although “hypnotherapy” is nothing new for mankind, it is still shrouded in mystery. Probably because of the first part of the word “hypnosis”. For some people it may evoke feelings and images such as: laying on the coach, sleeping, loss of consciousness, manipulation, losing control over their behaviour…

In this article I want to give useful answers about some common questions. Maybe you were already thinking about using hypnotherapy to help yourself and this info can help you to decide. Perhaps you will realize now, that this powerful tool is safe and could work for you.

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis -- or hypnotherapy -- uses guided relaxation, intense concentration, and focused attention to achieve a heightened state of awareness that is sometimes called a trance. The person's attention is so focused while in this state, that anything happening around this person is temporarily blocked out or ignored.

What does it feel like to be hypnotized?

Since hypnosis is a conscious, alert state, a hypnotic trance will not feel “unusual” to you at all. Clients (not only my clients) described it as a very pleasant, relaxing, calm experience. After hypnosis they wish “it” lasted longer😊. Mostly, they are surprised they were aware of what they were doing all the time. And felt they could choose to follow my suggestions or not. This point is very important to me, since I prefer not to use hypnosis in an authoritative way. I am giving the clients the possibility to co-create the process.

In this state you are able to focus deeply on what you are thinking about. Actually, this helps to activate all your sources to solve the issue. Don´t forget that because of hypnotherapy we are able to use more of our potential.

Is hypnosis a natural state?

Sorry to say, but hypnosis or trance won´t be for you an absolutely new experience, since we already experience this state on a daily basis 😊

Have you ever been so absorbed in your work that you lost track of what was going on around you? Have you ever had an experience of losing yourself in a book or a movie to the point that you forgot about everything else? Have you ever had the experience of driving your car, arriving at a destination, and not being able to fully remember what you saw along the way?

All of these experiences are common examples of self-induced hypnosis.

Athletes, musicians, dancers, actors, and other performing artists may become so completely immersed in their practice or performance that it is obvious to an observer that nothing else exists to them at that moment. They are in a hypnotic trance. The hypnotic trance experienced by athletes and performers is frequently called “the zone” or “flow”. During the state of hypnosis, athletes, artists and performers reach peak performance levels. Because of that, many professional sports teams have a hypnotist on staff.

Hypnosis it’s definitely a natural state, so the good news is that we can learn to use it to our advantage.

How does the hypnotherapy session look like?

No matter if our session is online or face-to-face – ** we start by talking. ** You won´t fall into a trance immediately when you enter the room😊. You will have the chance to ask me whatever about my method of work or anything else you are curious about. I will ask you about your goal, wishes, desired future so that we can define our cooperation contract. I need to know as well what is my aim as a therapist. From time to time it happens, that we continue the therapy without hypnosis, or we add this technique only at the end. Yes, I called hypnosis a technique, since it is “only a technique” and a good therapist shouldn’t be dependent on or adore only one. Every client is different and also, what they need may vary over time.

If we do hypnosis, we start with induction. It´s something like a gate to trance, hypnosis. It´s good to find a comfortable position (you don´t need to lay, in fact many clients prefer sitting position). There are many ways how to enter a trance, sometimes we use counting, another time it could be breathing or simply observing some object.

In trance itself I lead you into a deeply relaxed state. I use your agreed methods to help you towards your goals. You're fully in control when under hypnosis and don't have to take on the therapist's suggestions if you don't want to.

After this comes deinduction - it’s a phase in which we slowly and safely quit the trance. I prepare you and give you space to find your own tempo to “wake up”.

At the end of the session, we usually briefly reflect the whole experience

Can I be hypnotized to do something that I don´t want?

Hypnosis doesn't work if you don't want to be hypnotised. On other hand, neither too much cooperative attitude is helpful. I always say: “be open, you don’t need to help me neither fight against it, just be neutral, maybe curious”

What is hypnosis good for?

Hypnotherapy gives you the opportunity to amplify and use resources within yourself which you would usually consider to be outside the realm of your "normal" consciousness. If you were lacking in confidence or self-esteem, you could experience what it was like to speak in public with total confidence or be assertive in a positive way in a relationship.

It works by changing negative thought patterns and habits. Replacing them with healthy ones at a subconscious level.

Hypnotherapy can help you for example with: anxiety, depression, stress release, insomnia, smoking cessation, addiction, fears and phobias, self-esteem, chronic pain, weight management, IBS, motivation, sports performance, anger, bed wetting, public speaking, exam nerves and lots more.

Do you want to scratch the slope or ride it down?

Two years ago I started to learn to snowboard. Already as an „old boy“ who should have known how to snowboard a long time ago 😊. Well, I was not one of the lucky ones who learn to ski or snowboard at school, or even earlier. The beginners know, that the bigger and older you are, the more the falls hurt. As well as the fear of falls is increasing. However, in my life I am following the motto "better late than never". That's why I'm catching up with a lot of things, which I should have had learned as a child.

Well you have to admit, when a friend gives you a snowboard for Christmas, it's really stupid to look for excuses to not to do it. So, I stand on the slope with Michal, who gifted me my snowboard and shows me now the basics of snowboarding. As a professional coach, I have to admit that his approach was really brilliant. Michal is an entrepreneur, he is excellent at technical thinking. But still, his talent for teaching and understanding the human psyche fascinated me immediately. I've tried first-hand how useful it is when someone highlights my more successful attempts, when someone leads me to my own understanding of the mechanics of motion and let me figure out how to keep my balance and how to navigate. All this without a lot of overwhelming commands about what to do, what not to do and the subsequent criticism such as "you fell because you didn´t...". This is what many instructors do in good faith. They want to pass on all "their" wisdom to you in order to "move" you forward as quickly as possible.

My coaching heart danced with joy 😊 I identified a solution focused approach - in which we highlight more successful attempts instead of failures. He allowed me to advance quickly by letting me discover what I was doing when I was doing well. A pioneer of coaching - Timothy Gallwey with his famous theory of the inner game would also rejoice. Although Michal did not know these approaches, this did not prevent him from using them masterfully. After quite some time, I enjoyed being in the client's position and took it as a verification of Timothy's theory in practice. This has been unequivocally confirmed! In less than three days, I learned to: stand, start off, change direction and brake. Firstly, using beginner techniques and later more advanced ones. Starting on easier slopes and slowly moving to harder ones. Well, as a man of flesh and bone, I specially appreciated the fact that I fell only 4 times in 3 days!!!

I was already quite proud of myself. As I rushed down, the wind was blowing in my hair and I felt that in a few more seasons Ester Ledecka, the Olympic gold medalist, would feel threatened by me. But a problem occurred. I only focused on those tasks in snowboarding, where I felt confident. I repeated them over and over again. The feeling of overcoming a disobedient board, which I "tamed" thanks to certain techniques, overwhelmed me and my tendency to try something new was at freezing point. I just wanted to improve the already known techniques to a greater perfection. But most of all, I wanted to be in my safe zone, where there are no falls.


But Michal saw it. He let me enjoy the feeling of control for a moment. Later, however, he indicated that my feeling of wind in the hair is about 25km/h. And that it's nice to start with, but it's not a real "ride". But I stubbornly continued doing it my way. After all, I've already learned something, so I wanted to improve it. I was able to ride, but to direct the snowboard straight down and increase my speed made me scared to death. I did my curves all the time, which would not be such a problem in itself, but I also did them slowly. As soon as I felt an acceleration I was not completely in control of, I started to brake and scratch the ground. I braked even though I hadn't fallen yet. The most important thing to me was not getting into a dangerous situation, in which I wouldn't be in control.

My friend just shook his head. While we were still at the top of the slope he came to me and asked me:

„Do you want to scratch the slope or ride it down?“

And he continued: "Branko, you drive in such a safety zone, just not to fall. But that's not the joy, the adrenaline, the endorphins you can get from it. Look how I ride. I just let it run down so that I feel the "whoaaa" feeling and then at that speed I do the turns as I see fit. And don't think that I'm not afraid. I just focus on doing that great turn at that speed and enjoy it. I know you're scared, so try to let the board run progressively faster every time, before you brake it with the turn. You'll see, you'll be less tired in the end, because you'll actually get through it faster and without too much effort spent on braking. "

Right there, up on that slope, his phrase "If I want to scratch the slope or ride it down" hit me like lightning. I immediately saw a parallel to life itself in it. It has everything: the pain of falling and the fear of making a mistake, the joy of speed that is ruled out with too much caution, the risk and reward, the courage to overcome oneself. Getting stuck in a safe and familiar zone vs. trying the new and uncertain, fatigue from great (too much) control...

Thanks to this very tangible experience that question has remained engraved inside me. And since then, I ask myself this question not only on the slope, but also in different life situations:

Do you want to scratch the slope or ride it down?

Thank you Michal.

P.S.: Please bear in mind, that I am not a native English speaker, so an error in my speech/the text might occur occasionally. Thank you for understanding.

Playful and positive upbringing of a child – part 1.

Recently, many of us have spent more time with children than is usual. You might have realized some things about upbringing, which you have not paid much attention to before. For some of us, this situation took off our rose-colored glasses. We have seen with our own eyes, that the child as well as our ability to raise them, still have plenty of room for improvement😊.

Playful and positive upbringing of a child...who wouldn´t want that?

But how do we deal with such things as: demanding attention, nails biting, nose scratching, messy room, enuresis, aggression, audacity, pickiness in eating, fear of the dark and other fears, excessive noise, shyness and timidness, lateness, impatience, lack of concentration, seizures and emotional outbursts, teasing and poisoning other children, being the first and the best at all costs, disrespecting the needs of others, weak empathy?

There is a lot of tutorials and instructions everywhere, but less functional solutions. Who has the nerve to try all those tutorials? In addition, we are convinced, that our child and our situation are absolutely unique ...

Yes, you are right. It's not easy, and I'm afraid the trial-and-error method will probably never go out of style. There are various ways to solve a child's problems. But we will focus on those that do not focus on problems. What do I mean? I'll explain right away.

We probably all know how hard it is to get rid of a bad habit. I’ve, for example, always learned faster to play a brand-new song rather than unlearned the wrong way of playing an old song. In order to eliminate the bad habit (problem), you need to first unwind it from the brain threads. And only then start to wind the new one in the right way. On the other hand, while building a whole new habit, you are free from the first phase (unwinding) 😊. We can use a similar approach in raising children.

We don't have to focus so much on the child's problem itself. We will focus on building what we want to achieve instead.

The problem represents an opportunity to learn a new experience that is not yet developed or is still lacking in the child. And it is thanks to this new experience that the problem will actually be solved, or actually ceases to exist. We use the child's natural tendency to learn new things (also applies to adults). The child has an excellent predisposition to learning, it is like a sponge (unfortunately in both ways: good and bad). It is much easier for them to overcome a problem situation with newly acquired skill than a detailed analysis of their problems and failures. Because one rule applies:

What we pay attention to, grows.

Therefore, by improperly pointing out their shortcomings or failures, we actually inadvertently plant them into the child. Each of us has probably realised that not imagining a pink elephant is not the best strategy for not imagining it😊. It is much more appropriate to fill the contents of the mind with something completely different (e.g. a green field) than to worry about not imagining what we do not want to imagine.

Problem analysis - such as: Why did you do that? What led you to this? Since when do you do it? Why can't you calm down? What's so hard about it? Where did you learn this? Who did you get it from? Again? ... and many others do not create pleasant feelings.

Moreover, it is possible that this makes the child an expert on his problems and not an expert in solving them. So, if we want to analyse something, we prefer to analyse their success. "Let's catch him" doing something what we actually want him to do even more.

Parent as a detective of success.

This will increase their self-confidence and fixation on what the child is already doing (it will increase the probability to continue doing it). In addition, the child will understand that you are not only aware of his missteps, but you are also aware of his achievements and positive aspects.

Attention - however, there is no need to wait for a great, grandiose success! It might never come😊 It is useful to capture even small positive changes in behaviour. That's when our curious questions work in favour of deepening their expertise to solve: I noticed that ... Excellent ... how did you do it? I appreciate that ... I was impressed by ... How did you do that? What was the hardest part? How long did it take you?

It is not necessary to praise all the time (I will write about the art of praise in my next blog). More important than praise is our curiosity and attention. Our sincere curious questions not only give the child so much desired attention, but also help him realize "how" they managed it. Then they could repeat it later and possibly apply it to another situation.

Our attention (our observation skill or mindfulness) is a necessary condition for this to happen. Because we can only praise and highlight what we notice. This skill needs to be cultivated especially for cases where it seems difficult to find something positive. But there is always something going on. Nothing is constantly the same, it's just a matter of whether we are able to capture those small changes and blow out the small sparks into a bigger fire.

Braňo Hromada – Coach & Trainer


The result is more important than any technique. My clients appreciate extensive, field-proven know-how. Being certified and having a profound professional education is a necessary foundation, although the real magic comes with the ability to put it into practice. I am thankful, that my services helped hundreds of clients from different countries.

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